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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 73 (some duplicates have been removed)
made a big montage. that, my friends, that's my favorite, that one right there. so vicious, so mean, so cruel, and i don't hear it coming from conservatives about liberals. that is, if i may say, some of the most free-range, organically grown, disingenuous idealogically marinated unself-awareness i've ever seen in the wild. but you know what, it's woken me up. ed to reality of what some people face in this country, just for their political beliefs. you know, if you want to learn more about the hateful hyperbolic name-calling and malice mongering that people on the right face every day in this country, visit your local library and check out some of these informative titles. while you listen to the list,i'm just going to enjoy a little snack. [laughter] >> joining us now from washington, syndicated columnist michelle malkin, the author of the book "unhinged crn exposing liberals gone wild." >> fox news contributor jonah goldberg is here. >> "arguing with idiots." >> ann colter is the church of "godless: the church of liberalism." >> how islam and the left sabotage america. >> how the left
: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call them-- the troubles. (laughter) brooks had already resigned her post friday,
to think that was a big deal that i said we tell the other side of the story. i wish i had said the full story. here's what i meant. >> jon: wait. that was a big deal that you said that. that's your setting the record straight? i accidentally told the truth and wish i could take it back? you're not the... ( cheers and applause ) that's crazy. how are you not the counterweight? >> let me give you a classic example of what fair and balanced means to me. after hurricane katrina, the mainstream media piled on fema for its failure to respond to the crisis. and the federal government did a lousy job. but it was fox news that started reporting on the failure of the first responders, the city of new orleans and the state of louisiana to help people. yes, we reported fema's problems but we also told the other side of the story. >> jon: that's your example? you had a week to prepare an example and you came up with in 2005 everyone was (beep) on the republicans and we made sure they understood that local louisiana democrats (beep) too. i mean, just out of curiosity in your week of digging for that
't just come barging in here like that. what are you doing? - okay, look, it takes a big man to admit defeat, but you were right; i was wrong. everybody should be able to get married to whoever they want, which got me thinking about you and me. - oh, no, i'm not gonna marry you, if that's where this is headed. - what? dee, i would rather get shot in the face. - okay, then what are you doing here? - i'm glad you asked. i'm moving in. also, i need to get on your gym membership, because i got to get back in there asap before i lose this pump. what's with the beers? are you carbo-loading? - no. [gags] - oh, what are you doing? are you gonna throw up? - no. [gags] - then why are you gagging? - [coughs] - because, dee, that triggers my gag reflex too, and then i feel like i'm gonna throw up. - it's fine. i had some bad spaghetti... spaghetti. [gags] - [gags] oh, dee. look, the point is, the reason i came over here is because you were totally right about this marriage thing, okay? it is a special bond between two people in love. and everybody deserves that right. [both gagging] look, i'm thi
's leader. back-up weekend gretchen thinks there may be one big difference between romney. >> i think he could get a lot of money from that. >> big time. >> romney obviously not being a christian. >> jon: what? someone get that woman to book a mormon. really, ? can't get in until february 2014? wow, that thing is doing well. well, i'm sure back-up weekend gretchen's producers will point out the fallacy of her reasoning during the next commercial break. >> during the 6:00 a.m. i mentioned that mitt romney was not a christian. he is a member of the jesus christ of latter-day saints church, and that church does consider its members christians. >> jon: oh, and one other thing, time for lutherans to [bleeped] or get off the pot. reformation is over. you're in or you're out. we'll be right back. so, what are we going to do with this? i don't know. the usual? [ blower whirring ] sometimes it pays to switch things up. my - what, my hair? no. car insurance. i switched to progressive and they gave me discounts for the time i spent with my old company. saved a bunch. that's a reason to switch. big
consumer watchdog with just one job, looking out for people, not big banks, not lenders, not investment houses, looking out for people-- . >> jon: what, wait, who? who are we looking out for before? (laughter) anyway, the dodd frank act is now one year old. and here to discuss the effect it's having in reforming a damaged financial system, we're very lucky to have with us tonight, hr 4127-- 4173. the dodd frank act, everybody. (cheers and applause) ♪ i'm alone ♪ a 2000 page long ♪ congress passed me without voicing ♪ ♪ i make sure wall street plays by the new regulation ♪ ♪ protecting your investments across the nation ♪ ♪-- . >> jon: hang on there just one second. >> what. >> jon: i'm sorry dodd frank. >> uh-huh. >> jon: what the hell happened to you? >> what dow mean? >> jon: i don't want to say it but you look like [bleep]. >> oh, easy, washington's a tough town, jon. since getting passed yeah i've taken a few shots but i'm still standing. yes, yes, yes, i'm still standing. i'm still here. (cheers and applause) >> in fact, just last week my all new consumer financi
. you'll need it. >> jon: anarchy. we'll b ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. let me tell you this. the marriage equality act passing in new york wasn't the only bit of good news here this weekend. take a look at this. >> up next, setting the record straight about our interview last week with jon stewart. >> jon: yes! finally. ( applause ) let me tell you what's going on. i do an interview with chris wallace. i mentioned fox news viewers were the most consistently misinformed viewers in every poll. politifact said i shouldn't have said every poll. just most. i brought up a 21 lie salute of politifact spot fact checking so i assume that chris wallace now begins the work of apologizing for fox's many false and misleading statements. probably do a blooper show and carry us into the 2014 midterm s with a clear conscious. >> do you believe that fox news is exactly the
. january jon can we say first episode what... >> it's all about a big fart. the whole first episode is about a fart. and... >> jon: how long is the fart? >> i think it was 42 seconds long or something like that. [laughter] one-tenth of an episode is a fart. more than one-tenth. 20% of the episode is a fart. >> jon: i don't let your children watch your show. i don't let them watch my show, but i brought them in the room for the 42-second fart. they're still talking about it. >> listen, farts take a lot of [bleeped] for being... >> jon: what? >> they do. people think that that's low-brow humor, stupid humor. to me a fart is funny. fart is... let's break down a fart for a second. >> jon: please. >> okay. it comes out of your ass. [laughter] okay. it smells... >> jon: i'm glad you went for that number one. >> it comes out of your ass. it comes out of your ass. it smells like poop. because it's been just hanging out next to it for a long time. and it makes a little trumpet noise. come on, man. what's not funny about that? your ass flesh rubs together and it makes a noise that smells like
it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. >> welcome back. my guest tonight, very funny comedian. his show fx's "louis." thank goodness it's back for another season. >> it's a mother dog. it's a mother dog like 14-nipple belly. that's what happens if i go like this. it's happening now, you just can't see it. it's a six pack for a whole other reason. it just hangs in sections. it actually is three sections with a split in the middle. >> jon: please welcome back to the show "louis"ck. [cheering and applause] >> that was really funny. >> jon: great to see you. >> thank you. [cheering and applause] >> jon: i'm so glad the show is back on. >> thank you >> jon: you want to do it again? >> i don't want to shake. i just want us to hoover. >> jon: do the hover shake. first episode was so good. >> thank you. jon and your acting now is getting good. >> you were describing it. i thought you were
uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's gaining traction in iowa. >> jon: what? why would iowans be so concerned about what happens three inches below the corn belt? [laughter] since the iowa supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 they've noticed real changes in the state's cash crop! [laughter] yes, their worst fears corn destroyed by a (bleep) playing. [laughter] a -- (bleep) plague. movie about iowa field of -- if you build it they will -- you know. [laughter] it's no surprising the message is resonating to conservatives there. unless you think she's pandering rest april sured she's be on this message for years. >> if you are involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle it's bondage. it's personal bondage, personal despair and enslavement. that's why it's so dangerous. it's a sad life. it's part of satan to say this is gay. it's anything but gay. >> jon: if i were to use a word for their lifestyle i'd say it was queer. what they took that word, too? oh, god. those (bleep). they've got that one, too? [laughter] representative bachmann doesn't just talk the
and applause] we'll be right back. big deal days are back and better than ever! right now, go to priceline for a sneak peek at recent winning hotel bids to find where you can save up to 60% on hotels. we'll even email you other people's winning bids, so you'll know what price to name. with new hotel bid alerts, from priceline. >> welcome back. my guest tonight, very funny comedian. his show fx's "louis." thank goodness it's back for another season. >> it's a mother dog. it's a mother dog like 14-nipple belly. that's what happens if i go like this. it's happening now, you just can't see it. it's a six pack for a whole other reason. it just hangs in sections. it actually is three sections with a split in the middle. >> jon: please welcome back to the show "louis"ck. [cheering and applause] >> that was really funny. >> jon: great to see you. >> thank you. [cheering and applause] >> jon: i'm so glad the show is back on. >> thank you >> jon: you want to do it again? >> i don't want to shake. i just want us to hoover. >> jon: do the hover shake. first episode was so good. >> thank you. jon and y
central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy? >> are we in the seven-second delay today? >> oh, lordy. >> i want to characterize how i thought the president behaved. >> we have it. we can use it, right, alex? >> yeah, sure, come on. >> go for it. >> i thought he was kind of a dick yesterday. ( laughter ) >> jon: mark halperin, senior political analyst, editor at large of "time" magazine just called the president a dick. and that wasn't like a spontaneous, like, can't contain myself, you lie! like this one, you guys have a delay because i'm going to call the president a dick. now, people can argue whether that's appropri
off? >> and so sadly the war rages on ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. >> my guest tonight, comedian and agenter denis leary, fx returns for its final season this wednesday. >> listen, you have really great legs. >> uh-huh. >> really. >> yes, really. and they are just kind of -- >> what 1234. >> curley. >> what? >> what are you talking about. >> they also look, they look great on a man. >> okay. i've been around long enough to know that's not where you girls, you didn't start talking about my legs just all of a sudden. >> jon: please welcome back to the program denis leary. (cheers and applause) >> hi [bleep] (cheers and applause) are we going to stand. >> i will sit down. >> you know that you are an -- you can write a book, [bleep] let's go, let's do this. >> by the way, it's petri, congressional medal of honor. >> did you look that up. >> you called him petry
." my name is jon stewart. oh, we got a big one tonight. our guest tonight, mr. tom hanks. he is man so likable, so polite that his name actually contains the word "thanks." [laughter] it's right in it. we begin tonight with the economy, which, as many of you are aware, sucks. [laughter] right now we're looking to pay down $14.3 trillion of debt. [audience reacts] [laughter] apparently i'm reading a scary story to my children. they're going to do all the noises like it's "peter and the [bleeped] wolf or something." we're going to pay down $14. trillion of debt with a economy struggling to produce jobs, in large part because american workers still stubbornly cling to the idea that they should be more highly compensated than say suicidal chinese computer part factory help. [laughter] if it's good enough of these despondent people, well, not to worry, people. >> i just want to say a few words about the economy before i take your questions. >> jon: economy press conference. hooray! [cheering and applause] so what do we do, boss? >> the struggles of middle-class families were a big problem b
. of a subway® bbq pulled pork sub. brace yourself for the big, bold taste tender, succulent slow-cooked pork with sweet and smoky barbecue sauce, all on freshly baked bread. subway. eat fresh®. of a subway® bbq pulled pork sub. brace yourself for the big, bold taste tender, succulent slow-cooked pork with sweet and smoky barbecue sauce, all on freshly baked bread. subway. eat fresh®. >> my guest tonight, comedian and agenter denis leary, fx returns for its final season this wednesday. >> listen, you have really great legs. >> uh-huh. >> really. >> yes, really. and they are just kind of -- >> what 1234. >> curley. >> what? >> what are you talking about. >> they also look, they look great on a man. >> okay. i've been around long enough to know that's not where you girls, you didn't start talking about my legs just all of a sudden. >> jon: please welcome back to the program denis leary. (cheers and applause) >> hi [bleep] (cheers and applause) are we going to stand. >> i will sit down. >> you know that you are an -- you can write a book, [bleep] let's go, let's do this. >> by the way, it's p
, right? >> it's no big deal. >> yeah, we don't care. >> oh, my god, i got like a... oh, jesus. >> oh, baby. >> this close, baby. >> that is a weight off my shoulders, man. i really dodged a bullet on that one. >> well, we all did, we all did. >> hey, what about the museum? >> huh? >> yes. >> boom. >> yes, there's still time. okay, dee, we're out of here. you look like a turkey. >> yeah. also i would say, i would say you look like an-an ostrich. >> yes! >> right? >> you know, i was-- i want to call her an emu, but i want to save it for, you know... >> you are a big, fat, flightless bird. >> yeah yeah! (laughing) >> those are all... those are all... >> just sort of a general... >> the general whatever. >> july 25th, 2011 from comedy central world news headquarters in new york, this is the dale he show with swron stewart captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show with jon stewart. we have a very good show tonight. our guest tonight, neil patrick her is. (cheers and applause) now as you know many of our viewers live in the northern hemi
petry. >> not when a retape it. >> [bleep] do it right. >> but you try to pass yourself off as this big political, you know, hot show daily everybody comes to your show every day to find out smart information. the truth is the point of reference is the dick van dyke show, monty python. >> jon is not read a single one of these books. he doesn't read my books. he doesn't even read the real books. the information is passed to him by all the smart women who work backstage. (cheers and applause) >> tell me, tell me. >> what! what do you want? >> jon: how are things in the world of fake fire fighting? (laughter) >> --. >> jon: i heard are you going to the smithsonian s that true, your character going to the smithsonian, is that true. >> my character is being inducted into the smithsonian institute on thursday. >> jon: why? why is that happening? >> jon, this is the same question i am going to ask the smithsonian people on thursday. >> jon: how do they let you know, you just get a letter, this is a fund-raising scam, how much money does it cost you. >> you get -- listen if i could have paid m
spending limit, which congress has released ten times in the last ten years. now that's the big give in the negotiation. it's not, all right, let's all chip in and buy a getting for the party. it's buy me a keg and i won't burn your [bleeped] house down. now, why would obama and the democrats get the impression that that's not really a give? >> nobody is talking about not raising the debt ceiling. i haven't heard that discussed by anybody, not in the congress. yeah, nobody is talking about doing that. >> jon: [whispering] the leader of the house of representatives. see, the leader of the senate republicans stated on sunday that of course they're going to raise the debt ceiling. now, why would the republicans get the impression that they can play silly politics with something like our credit rating? because in 2006 the president and freshman senator voted against raising the debt ceiling. and why did he do that? >> that was just an example of a new senator, you know, making what is a political vote as opposed to doing what was important for the country, and i'm the first one to acknow
it. [music playing] oh, god. i'm gonna be so big when i get back. you're not gonna want to touch me. don't be ridiculous. i've been with a lot of big girls. oh, yeah? j.d., narrating: the best part of a great mystery is its resolution. whether you finally realize what your friend was looking for... so, tell me about your new job. it's amazing. or just figuring out why a guy was orange. and, um, am i ever gonna look normal again? oh, sure, sure, as long as you cut back on your vegetables, maybe, you know, buy some clothes from this decade. oh, i almost forgot-- your wife was crying the other night. keep an eye out for post-partum depression. it's pretty serious. she hasn't seemed sad at all, but i'll keep an eye out. j.d., narrating: of course, no matter how many mysteries you solve, it's always easy to miss one. turk, i can't handle going home right now. don't look at me! i wasn't crying. i just need a break from the baby. [crying] like who's really in trouble. [music playing] >> july 25th, 2011 from comedy central world news headquarters in new york, this is the dale he show with s
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 73 (some duplicates have been removed)